Today my house is quiet! Almost too quiet! Jason and I had a date night last night for our anniversary, and today I am alone in my house. March Madness and the clicking of the keyboard are the only sounds I hear. Jason is playing golf, the kids are at my sisters, and I am here... with a To-Do list a mile long. But what I really want to do is... curl up with a good book ( one that is for my reading pleasure only!) and read. That way I could try to forget the laundry, dishes, homework, the cleaning, the church stuff demanding my time... I could just breathe....

But I do have things I have to do, and I might as well get them done. I have been using this week to do some spring cleaning and go through things. I have made some progress, more to do, but baby steps.

Continue to pray for Jason a job. We don't want just a job... but we want the right job. God is faithful, and he knows our needs. We know He is trust-worthy! Sometimes his time table is not our own. I wish I could learn that lesson! :)

School is going pretty good. I finished my first class with a 100%. But my second class , I am really struggling with. I don't fully understand the expectations, and I am not sure how well I am doing. ( No grades have been posted for the last 2 weeks) so I have nothing to gauge my progress. There have been days this week, where I have thought I simply can't keep up with all the demands. School, work, and family. It is overwhelming. But I made it through the week. I have one more paper to write before Monday, and everything else is done- I think!

I pray you all have a great Saturday and a blessed Sunday! If you don't have a church home, find someplace you can worship tomorrow! It will help you all week! If you do have a church home, be faithful and attend, it will help you all week as well!

Tomorrow Jason and I will celebrate 14 years of marriage. It just doesn't seem possible. We have climbed many of mountains together and set in a lot of valleys. But through it all we have stuck together. I can say that today, I love him more than I ever thought possible. He is my best friend, the love of my life, my accountability partner, and my partner in crime! We have 4 wonderful children, who bring us joy and love everyday. ( an the occasional gray hair) We have seen God answer many prayers. And look forward to the many more answers to prayers.

So to Jason, I love you and thank you for spending your life with me. You make me feel like a princess! I look forward to spending the rest of our lives together!

Happy Anniversary!

I just think that today has brought me to a place of thinking- WOW, I really can't do it all. I can't even remotely do it all.  My walls seem to be closing in on me. We have a non-profit organization that needs our attention...desperately. Church stuff needs my attention- asap... home stuff that needs attention right now. Not to mention deadlines and assignments due for school.

Don't get me wrong, I really know that I can't do it all, I know that it is a busy time. I also know that it feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I really thought Jason would find a job quicker, we are going on our second month. I really thought that with all of the people we knew and the headhunters working, he would at least have had more interviews.  He did have a great interview last week, but they are still interviewing... that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it is just more waiting...How many times have I been reminded to "wait on the Lord". that is so much easier said than done.I wish I could say that I have arrived at waiting patiently on the Lord, and that worry never crosses my mind. But well, you read my blog you know that isn't the case.

I have to admit, I learn so much in those waiting times. I can look back at those times in my life where I have had to wait, and those were times of great growth and learning. But I guess today- I think i have grown enough, and have learned all that I want to right now... :) I guess learning is a never ending process and I am thankful for that, just right now, I wish things were different...
 
Yes please give me some cheese with this whine I am doing right now...GOOD GRIEF! I know that I am very blessed. I have 4 healthy children. I have a husband that loves me, and takes very good care of us. I have a job, Jason has a contract job he is doing right now. We have food, we have 2 cars, we have lots of people that love us and support us. and most of all we serve an amazing God.

Whining is now complete... I will count my blessing tonight, instead of my stresses!

So in my last post I talked about what does ministry look like- mine actually. And today I got to see what it really looks like. I made it through the funeral! I say I but what I mean is God helped me in such an amazing way. It was an unbelievable moment in my life. It was a God moment, when you know that you are being held by the one who created you. WOW! Thank you for all who prayed today!

I am just amazed at how God continues to show  His plan for me. He stretches me beyond what I thought was possible and takes me one step closer to the women he called me to be.  It is a great journey!

This week has been insane, and I am ready for it to be over and hopefully the next week won't be so crazy busy. Monday is my day off and I am going to have lunch with one of my favorite people, and just maybe I will get caught up on laundry... or maybe I will do homework all day... either way- it is a day I am looking forward too.

I thought this was a pretty straight forward answer. I was being called to be a Pastor. I would build relationships, help people on their journey with Christ. It would be great. I  had not allowed myself to think about what this looks like in other areas. Last night, I watched a baby die. I stood by the bed of a 6 mth old baby and watch him take his last breathe. To say I know that God was there and holding us up would be understating it. I felt the very presence of God surrounding me to keep me focused in those hours we spent there. In my own strength I could not have made it. Pastor Tom wants me to help with the funeral- I don't think I can. He assures me I can. But I just don't know how I can do it. I don't know how to get up and say what will need to be said ( ok i have to speak like 3 minutes, not a huge deal but in my head it feels like 3 hours) Again, in my heart I know that God will be there, and is already there. I also know that this is my ministry, God called me too. Ok not my ministry but God's. So- pray for this family in the days ahead as the grieve this precious little boy, and pray for me that God would surround me with his peace and that the words that come out of my mouth will be straight from the heart of God.

Today is the day that Lord has made- I will rejoice and be glad in it. Today is the day! This is one of those things we shouldn't put off until tomorrow. We or I should I say should rejoice today because today is a gift from God.
It seems so simple to say and so difficult to put into play...  the last month I have been bogged down with the weight of our stresses. Jason losing his job, starting school, being in a wreck, jobs, kids, and all that goes with it. But lately I have really been feeling like God is saying "Gina- today is a gift. use it for good. " So I have been trying.
There seems to be so many people I know right now hurting. I have been standing beside the hospital bed of a 6mth old baby the last few days. It doesn't appear he is going to make it. Life is put into perspective during those moments. I held his little hand yesterday and was struck with the fact that I am truely blessed. Blessed beyond anything I could ever ask for our deserve.
A friend of mine recently made the comment about an answer to prayer in her life"it is just undeserved grace" I like that. So many blessings have come my way through undeserved grace. Of course when you think about it all grace is undeserved.

It is almost Easter time and this is the time we will think about our Lord and what he did for us. I am overwhelmed with his sacrifice for us. My prayer is that I will go into the Easter season with open eyes- to see something or hear something with a new perspective. That it just won't be another Easter but it will be a life changing Easter. I am so excited to see God move in me and around me.

So, tonight I leave you with this. My prayer for all of you is this- that my Jesus will be your Jesus, that the undeserved grace I experience everyday will be your experience. That you will be surrounded with the peace of Christ, and that His mercy will be like rain falling down on you. Have a great rest of the week!