Sometimes to be able to heal what is broken we have to unplug from everything to discover what is real. It is not easy but a necessary step in the journey. This long journey I am on and wish I was not has taken many turns and twist in the last few weeks and months. Feeling as if my heart might actually burst into pieces I am trying to find my footing on the shaking ground I find myself standing on. Finding who you are in the midst of brokenness means looking for what is real, what you can change and what you cannot. Sometimes we get so focused on things that we cannot control that it robs our joy, our peace and our sanity. Learning to truly place my whole self in the middle of God's will and trust that he has all of it under control, and he holds what is broken together in the palm of his hands. unplugging so that I might fully and completely be plugged in to Him.....
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We had a great vacation! I wish it lasted a little longer. I had a lot of time to think, enjoy my family, and pray. I am now trying to find the house again, unpack and do the mountain of homework that is due tomorrow. Another class will be over tomorrow and another one starting on Tuesday. I am weary of homework. 

I am blogging but not sure that a blog is really where we should say all that is going on in our mind. I will be blogging in the days ahead about the vacation. Because it was amazing. We visited so  many wonderful things. I learned a lot. And I had some great times with my kids and husband. It was great. 

While we were gone we celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. I can not believe it has been 16 years. We have had some ups and downs but always come through them stronger. I cannot imagine my life without Jason. He is my hero. So thankful he is by my side. 
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When you realize that somethings are left better unsaid and well others should be said you just can't find the right words. Today is another Monday. another day that is suppose to be a day off instead, it is filled with homework, laundry, cleaning, paying bills and many prayers being muttered. Vacation is just a few days away...I can't wait. to get away to leave it all behind and be with my family. My kids, my husband...time to enjoy each other. No work, just play. ( okay I will still be doing homework but you know what I mean) This morning, Kailyn snuggled up beside me and my heart melted. My little baby who is almost 11, and yet she is so loving and caring. I wish more mornings were spent cuddling under the covers and less hurrying out the door. My wish is that things slow down, that the people I love would know they are loved and time would not slip away so easily...but it does slip away. And before you know it another day, another week another month has passed. 

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