Easter 2011 has come and gone. I preached my first Easter Sermon at a Sonrise service. I realized that God's power is something that I cannot possibly wrap my mind around. His power not only raised his son from the dead after 3 days, but his power changes people today. It takes the drug addict to drug free, the alcoholic to clean, the rebellious teen to trusting him. It takes people like me broken and lost to whole and complete. How great he is has little to do with us. His greatness is not measured by what we do or don't do. He is just great! He is filled with more grace than we can wrap around minds around. His grace that he pours out on me...on you...He loves. 

I am amazed at God. In all of my failures, weaknesses and brokenness he never gives up on me. He doesn't give up on you either. He is waiting for us to humble ourselves before him and allow his grace to pour over us. Sometimes I think we get confused about what the main thing is...the main thing is Grace. Jesus Christ came to bridge the gap between us and his Heavenly Father, God. He paid the price. We spend way to much time beating ourselves up over the things we did wrong. 

If we look at the Easter Story in John 20 ( which happens to be where my sermon and Pastor Tom's came from ) We see Jesus very clearly confirming those who were followers of his. They had all scattered and were in hiding. Unsure of what was going to happen. But Jesus appears and offers them peace as well as confirmation that they were called. Peter denied Jesus 3 times. And yet in John 21 we see Jesus clearly telling Peter, feed my sheep. Jesus loved Peter. He extended grace to Peter. I am sure like me you have been where Peter was at, knowing he didn't deserve Jesus' forgiveness...it would take him or me our whole lives to make it up to Jesus for letting him down. But the truth is we don't hold Jesus up. That is not our job. He isn't depending on me or you to hold him up. He is depending on us to do what we are called to do. 

Maybe you need to accept grace today, maybe you need to extend grace today. Today I just want to swim in grace. I am praising him for his greatness. He is great. The splendor of a king- clothed in majesty. Let all the earth rejoice, let all the earth rejoice. he is great! Praise him today. Spend some time worshiping him today. We dont have to wait for Sunday to worship- you can worship today. Swim in the grace that he is freely offering you today! 

That's right Baseball- I am watching baseball. You should know it is my least favorite sport. I am watching it in hopes I might get a glimpse of my husband who is at the game in the dugout seats...seriously...I am running the taxi this evening, and being the mean mom telling kids to go to bed, do their homework, clean their rooms, you  know all the fun stuff. And to torture myself some more I have baseball on! UGH! 

On another note- I have been looking into hardwood floors for my dining room, kitchen, entry way and guest bathroom. I am ready for a change. The thing about home ownership is it is expensive. This year the house has to be painted, the deck rebuilt, dead trees removed, the inside painted. So, I am making list and starting the process of sorting out the cost of how much it will cost. YIKES! too bad I can't win the lottery- oh thats right, I have to play to win. But seriously- if I could just get one of these baseball players to give me what they make in one game I think I could get it all done...

Did you know that when they built my house ( Like 30 years ago) they put a bed of concrete down to lay tile- yep that is right- to tear out the tile in my entry way, we have to chisel away the concrete and rebuild the floor to match the rest of the floor-guess what that does to your total bill- you guessed it- more and more money. I did think perhaps I could tear it out, then I thought more about it- who am I kidding. Yes homeownership- its great, the american dream. AHHH! 

I am blessed and I am not meaning to complain. I am just amazed how expensive everything is...I guess take it one little project at a time-

Well, I am very bored with baseball- time to pick up the girls...

This week has been difficult, sick kids, a husband out of town and mountains of things to do. I have had some forced time at home and have spent some of that time in the presence of the Lord. I have been asking him for answers, and waiting for them to come. I have been telling him my heart and trusting him to hold me. I have realized how much I am covered by his grace and swimming in his mercy- every day, no every minute that I am living. He covers his children with his hand of grace. When we surrender, fully, to his plan, we understand that it will be a plan unlike anything we could have thought up. We realize that his ways are not our own. We become a vessel for his will to flow through. I have been reflecting quite a bit on being a vessel and thinking about Jesus being the vessel in which grace and mercy literally flowed through. Because of his willingness to come and to die for us, he was broken so that mercy and grace could be our free gift. Easter is coming, I will preach my first sonrise sermon- I am humbled. To think about that morning over 2000 years ago when the ladies went to the tomb to prepare the body only to discover the tomb was empty- he was gone. They cried and wondered who had moved the body of Jesus. This is perplexing to me- didn't he tell them? He was going to die but not to fear because he would rise again. They heard it first hand and yet- felt alone, lost, betrayed, confused and were filled with sadness. How many of us face those same emotions- we stand looking into the emptiness and wonder why he left us there without him? Well, okay I am getting into my sermon now so I guess to hear the rest you will have to get up at 6:30 on Easter morning and come....

Today i am taking a soak in the mercy that God extends to me. I am resting in the covering of his grace and thanking him for it. Today I trust him to do what is best for me as I do what he has called me to do...be Jason's wife, Brooklyn, Jordan, Colton and Kailyn's mom, a sister, friend, daughter, and pastor....

I know it has been forever since I have posted. So much is going on. Sometimes I find myself wishing I had time to write. Write my thoughts, write down important information, write down things about my kids, write sermons, write blogs and perhaps write a book. I feel like over the last few months God has turned me upside down and shook everything out. Its like every piece of my life has been cut open for review. It hasn't been overly fun and at times I have fought the process. But isn't that what we do? Fight the process of healing? Fight what we think is bad only to see that it was good? Again, I say I don't know if I would have picked this journey, and yet I realize how very blessed I am. . Sometimes when God puts you on a journey it is hard not to take on others pain as your own...to fix what is broken...then I realize that God is the only one who can heal the hurts, the bitterness, the misunderstandings...God is the only one who can work in hearts to prepare them for healing- much like he has worked in my life. Healing doesn't take place over night- unfortunately I wish I did. Our brokenness didn't happen over night so it certainly takes times to work through it all. Today I can say that I am grateful for the journey. God has showed me so much and I know he has much more to show me. Reclaiming what is important, working through the junk and resting in the arms of the One who loves me most. 

The journey is far from over...but healing in my heart and life is slowly taking place. His hand of grace is covering the bleeding hurts of my life and healing has begun....To learn to live fully in his grace is learning to live freely for him.