Tonight was one of those nights I just needed to be normal...i know some of you are saying Gina- you are never normal. Or what is normal exactly. To me normal is fixing dinner, all of us eating it together , then doing things around our home. That's what we did tonight. Jason grilled and we had an amazing dinner. Then I went out to do one of the most therapeutic things for me, and that is work in the flowers and pull the weeds. We are rarely home and the yard was looking very neglected. I love having my fingers in the dirt. Pulling the weeds that seem to grow right up the middle of every plant. I can work there and all the stress and junk that is weighing me down slips away. I think about how the good comes right up with the bad and if we leave the bad there ( the weeds) it overtakes the good. Much like life. We have to do frequent weeding to maintain the good.  I spent hours working out there tonight. I am not done but it looks a little better. I made progress. I can see where I have been and I can see what still needs to be done. Then it got dark and I couldn't see anymore so we all came in. The kids were playing a game and I made them some cupcakes. It was just a normal mom thing to do. It felt nice. So at 10:30 at night, I was baking cupcakes. Not because I had too but because I wanted too. Just to be normal. Just to be Gina- the mom.

It was just one of those days. When with each beat of my heart, I felt like my chest might explode. Situations that need answers, that I do not have. Lessons I need to learn, children who need me to teach them. A husband who needs a wife. Then there was the encounter with God at the grocery store- I often wonder why God chooses to talk to us in the places that he does. I mean seriously is Hyvee the best place to have a conversation? Crying women going up and down the aisle tends to draw attention. But we are talking about God, and he can talk to us whenever he chooses- we just need to listen. I guess he thought I would listen best today at Hyvee. So as you can see, I just needed normal tonight. God knew I needed normal tonight. It was his gift to me. I am thankful.

Tomorrow will be another day-it will start just like any other day and I will be torn between jobs, tasks, parenting, being a wife and many other things, and that will be normal. Who knows I might even have another God encounter at Hyvee. But whatever the day holds, God has it all  under control. He doesn't need my help- he has... I just have to trust his timing in everything.

First of all let me say! Happy father's day! I am blessed to have many great men in my life who have made a positive impact on me.
 A.L Hayton, my grandfather, was an amazing man of God, who I am sure had faults, but I did not see them. I miss him and I wish he could see who I am today. I hope he would be proud.
 Roger, my dad, he did a great job of being my dad and loving me even when I probably wasn't very lovable. He worked many long hours to provide for me. I am sure that some days he wished he wasn't coming home to an empty house and  a little girl, but he did it everyday. Thank you dad. I love you.
Charlie, my step-dad, who no matter how snotty and hateful I was, loved me anyway. I am thankful you stuck around and are part of our lives today.
Jason, my husband...so much I could say and yet I don't know where to start. You and I no one thought would last and yet we have built our family together one brick at a time. You show amazing strength in the face of difficulty, you love unconditionally, and you ask for so little in return. You have made decisions that changed the course of history for your kids and their kids. You are loved and appreciated. You model for your kids what it means to love your wife and cherish her. You model for your kids what it means to love and serve God. you listen, you love and you hold all of us when we need it. We love you. I love you. And Thank you.
Tom- my boss, my pastor, my friend. Much I could say but I will simply say, Thank you for believing in me...everyday! I appreciate it more than I could ever put into words.
Happy Father's Day! I love you all and hope that today you knew you were loved.

On another note, I have been sick... sicker than I have been in years. I have basically laid in bed for 3 days. This has not been easy for me at all. I feel behind on everything. But laying in bed sicker than a dog has a way of making you think about a lot of things.  Probably not new thoughts just some reminder. I will share them with you.
1. I do not like being alone and without social interaction. I had to miss the last night of VBS, and church this morning.  I had to miss Jordan singing in Honors Choir. It just about killed me. I ached to be there. Seriously. It was difficult. Now for those of you who have known me a long time... you are going Duh! I like being around people. I am a little social ( okay maybe a lot)
2. Sometimes you have to be forced to rest- I don't like this one either. Resting is not something I do very often, and I should. I have had the last 3 days to think about a lot of things. Some I needed too, others I wish I didn't have to and yet others that I didn't need too.
3. Satan uses times when you are low to attack even harder. Honestly, i am ready for him ( satan) to move on. I am tired of his assaults and worn down. I do not like the things Satan is saying right now. I do not like how he is using things and people to throw daggars in my direction. I do not like feeling defeated.
4. Being sick made me make a very difficult decision. one I did not enjoy making, and the feelings that accompanied that were like a further kick in the gut. I was suppose to preach today. And finally at 9:00 last night, I knew that would not be possible. Making that call was hard but I know the right one.
5. Kids do not like it when their mom is sick. They may not like it when I am well either, but I need to be well.

So there are a few things that went across my mind in the last 3 days. Trust me there was more but this blog would be way too long. I did get some rest, but now I am behind on school work, and other important things.

Also, during this time Jason's grandma Todd died. He will be going to the funeral tomorrow, while I stay here for Jordan's surgery he is having on Tuesday. I think I need a vacat