What does it mean to be captured by grace? I have been thinking a lot about God's grace and how he captures us with grace. But being captured isn't a trap, it's a safe haven, where we can feel protected. God is extending us his grace because he loves us so much. God is love. When we are grounded in love, we are grounded in God and his grace is poured out on our lives. Not because of anything we do, but because that is  God's plan for us. Who I am in Christ is only possible because of this grace. God has called each of us to something...are you living fully in the grace of God today? 


So today, as I watch the wind blow, the leaves dance I realize that this is there act of worship to the Almighty God who is pouring out his grace on us today. I will join them in worship. 

It was one of those days. My to-do list virtually left untouched. Tomorrow will be a day of running back and forth between parent teacher conferences, and work. and all the while the giant to do list will be staring me in the face. Demanding my attention. A huge event at church on Friday, a huge paper due for my class, administration work that is very important to my job and of course let's not forget  my family four kids and a husband. It has been a rough couple of months. Tonight was a rough night. A little piece of my heart broke as I had a conversation with one of my kids. I want so badly to give my kids a family life that they remember as good. That they want to model when they grow up and have kids and well sometimes I am not sure if I am accomplishing that. I have to change our schedule. I have to help create a home of solitude and safe place for them to come instead of hurry, hurry, hurry. My family means everything to me. And yet, I have yet to do the necessary work for mine and their schedules to look different. Am I teaching them the important things? Are we modeling Christ in everything we do in our home? Do the kids really understand how much they are loved?

As I type this I am listening to the wind gust wrestle with the leaves remaining on the trees. The leaves struggling to hold on to the limbs that have been their home the last few months. And I think that is how it is with parenting. the wind gust come and try to shake our kids off our limbs. And in time that is what they are suppose to do. to leave the parent tree and go on for their own adventures. But we aren't there yet. and the winds that are blowing are trying to tear down and leave baggage for our family. I am convinced that Satan uses the tool of Busyness as much as he uses any other. Because when we are busy, we get tired, we don't invest in our relationships, we do not have the time to do the things that are most important and before to long, things are broken. Things need to be fixed.

I am praying for wisdom tonight. I am praying for miracles for those I love who are hurting. I am praying that my kids will understand how much they are loved. How much I really am trying to do what is right. I hope they do. Parenting is the hardest job I have right now. And I understand more and more how much I need Jesus. How much I need to be operating on the overflow of

Today was my day off, I did homework this morning, followed by a short nap ( which was amazing) and then off to pick up kids. The evening I had all laid out, dinner at home, shopping with the kids for clothes that they need for cooler weather. While the kids worked on homework, I cleaned up the living room, loaded the dishwasher and looked in the pantry for inspiration for dinner. Nothing came, so i took the dog for a walk, called Jason to see when he was going to be home, he was working late ( not to late just a little). Came back home, heard the kids all tell me what they wanted to do for the evening, which did not include shopping ( except for Brooklyn who can always shop) But she decided to babysit and the boys wanted to go to Jason's bball game and Kailyn off to church with a friend. My plan, was falling apart, and strangely it felt okay. We grabbed some dinner, sent the boys to a game and I begin to look for more inspiration, except this time not for dinner but for my next sermon. I watched literally over an hour of video clips that might tie to what I think the sermon will be about. Nothing seem to be right for this sermon. I begin to sort socks as I watched the videos. I looked at my bed covered with socks, of all shapes, sizes and colors I thought about how mismatch our lives can become. How sometimes we look for inspiration in all the wrong places and are left with feeling a bit mismatched, odd and different. The socks were a little bit of inspiration but sadly not for the sermon...simply this blog.... At the end of the sorting I was left with an array of socks missing a mate, or a little to holey to be put back in the drawer. And I understand a little more. Just like socks we are sometimes left a lone and gaping with a hole. The damage was sometimes done on purpose and other times it comes from everyday wear and tear. We need to be repaired and matched up something that can bring healing and a sense of purpose. Unlike the socks, that made their way to a bag for trash, we are not put out on the curb for the trash man. We can be picked up by our Heavenly Father, and made whole. He can hold us, heal us and match us up with his grace. Now that is some inspiration. Who knew that a bed filled with socks would bring to a place where I was thankful for the opportunity of crawling up in my Father's lap and be made whole.

Listening to one of my favorite worship songs. Worthy is the Lamb by Hillsong. Just finished up some homework and wanted to go to bed feeling blessed instead of overwhelmed. I am thankful for the cross tonight. Thankful that Jesus went to the cross and in my place allowed them to crucify him. I have been washed in his cleansing flood. Our message this morning at church was on forgivness. And I remember watching "Passion of the Christ" and when Christ had died and they speared his side and his blood covered the roman guard and he feel to his knees at the foot of the cross. That is how I felt today, that I was standing at the foot of the cross and his blood was covering me. Not because I deserved it, quite the opposite actually, but he covered me. He in the act of death, and shedding of his blood covered me. I stand before Him forgiven. He is worthy. I can not fully grasp his forgiveness and grace. But he is seated on his throne. He reigns. That should make us all rejoice and worship.

Christ is worthy tonight. Whatever this week holds, he is already there. Whatever mistakes and struggles that I am sure to have this week, he has grace and forgiveness already waiting. Nothing will happen this week to throw him off. Nothing I face is too big. He is big enough. He is waiting for me with open arms, to crawl up into his lap and rest in him.

I know that there is days ahead that will require hard work, self-discipline and a trust in God like I have never had before. But God is in control and he is working on me and through me. His grace is enough...He is worthy! Tonight I worship Him. I praise him for all that he is doing, both the seen and the unseen. Thank you God for being real today.

 Most days I wake up with a plan. A plan to accomplish tasks, keep on schedule and all the other thigs demanding my time. But today I had some unscripted moments. It started out with a breakfast with sisters, cousins, and friends. Not on my plan but unscripted...good. Then come home to do some homework. I found myself listening to my kids, laughing, playing, arguing,  and talking. I wanted to be part of what they were doing. So we went outside and I begin to shoot hoops with my boys and well every shot I shot Jordan blocked. He is taller than me now and he was kicking my behind. We played, we laughed, I cheated, then we threw leaves at each other and just enjoyed the great day. Life unscripted, unplanned. Moments when we sense that these are the moments we will remember forever. When we realize that it isn't about the schedule or the agenda but rather is it about being with the ones we love.

When we take time to invest in those around us, and make a positive impact on others we are being a good steward of God's grace. And most of the time we do that in the unscripted moments. Be quick to care and listen. Show your family, your friends and those around you that they are worth your time. Living life in the unscripted we find that might just be where God dwells. His ways and time is not our own......

 This morning,  I got to see the sunrise. It was beautiful. I thought about all the sunrises I have seen and it dawned on me( no pun intended) that no 2 are alike. Each day is a new day with a look and feel. As I was looking at the sun and realizing that sunrises are a pretty good way to get a glimpse of the new mercies that God has for us. I was overwhelmed at the thought, everyday God pours out his mercy on to us. He doesn't use old or stale mercy, but new...and much like the sunrise his mercy is new everyday. Its fresh and warming and awe inspiring. I know that no matter what happens today I won't run out of God's mercy because tomorrow, he will have new mercy for me....for you!

New Mercy, which reminds me of an old hymn that I love-
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.




Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.




Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!



New mercies= pardon from sin, provision, experiencing the presence of the Lord, blessing, hope and many, many more things. Today I rest and dwell in the glorious thought that I have been given new mercies today. That God's grace and mercy is unending and tomorrow there will be a new supply of both.

I left my house today at 8:00 a.m, I walked back into my house tonight at 9:30. As I walked in I immediately knew that Louise had been here and Brandon had come and shampooed the carpet. I wish everyday was like that. When you leave something in complete disarray and come back later to find it cleaned up and better than before. AHHHHH...... now that would be nice. The feeling is like a breathe of fresh air. Wednesday's these days are hard days. Days that I face myself in the mirror a little more than I like and then spend the rest of the night thinking about what i see. I am learning that what I see is not always truth or reality. But rather messes that have been left ...messes. They should have been cleaned up and put away, but instead They have simply been left as wounds. So as I walked in the house I thought about the messes that still needed to be cleaned up, The images and words that need to be thrown out and replaced with cleansing ( grace). Less you think I am talking about some major sin, I am not. I am talking about the things we leave un-dealt with in our lives that hold us captive. The voices in our heads that effect who we are and what we do. Our experiences, both good and bad, that have molded us into the creature we are today. You know you have heard me say it before...the Baggage we carry. again, I am realizing how heavy it is. and when we begin to unpack it, we experience some major freedom.

So tonight before I go to bed I am going to go look around the house and enjoy the cleaned up messes. Knowing that no mess is too big for my God to work through.

Tonight I stare at the screen...its blank. It says write new blog here and my heart and soul are not blank, they are simply full. Full of questions, full of worries and full of rambling thoughts. When I stare at the blank screen and think about writing down my thoughts I am hesitant...Some of the things that are running through my head can't be expressed in mere words in a blog. The last month has been one like no other, and yet this evening I felt the still small voice of God saying to me- "I am healing you. I am working and molding you from the inside out." We talked about tonight in our class about being the clay in the potter's hands. When the potter is molding and making the clay into his perfect design and shaping them from the inside out. The key is to be yielded to the potter. I am learning to yield to the molding of the Potter. My heart is so heavy for some big burdens of those I love. These things I know tonight as I go to bed. God loves me! God created me for this time and this purpose. God is healing me. God is going to work all things together. God is Sovereign and in control of all of these burdens and trials. I also know that on the other side of the pain and healing is a new better God shaped woman of God.

Again today I heard another teenager say " i really doubt if there is a God" My heart broke. It wasn't one of my teenagers but one I love dearly. I begin to pray to  God that I know exists. I pray that somehow this heart will be soften and God will be revealed. I begin to think about all the junk the public schools teach our children. The worldview that they give them. I pray that somehow I can offset the junk for my own kids. That they will see through the "lies" the world will try to teach as truth and they will see the Truth of God. I realize even more how much I need to be praying for my kids. They need Jason and I to be sounding boards and a safe place to go when the lies of this world are too  much. Parenting is overwhelming... Parenting isn't for the weak at heart. Parenting means taking the bull by the horns and going to battle. It means praying like you have never prayed before. It means taking the risk that your kid may say mean things to you like " i hate you" and being okay with that. Parenting means loving them through all the crisis that our children will go through. Because they will go through them. Parenting means relying on God in a whole new way. Nothing else we do is as important as leading our kids to Christ. We must understand that in order to lead them, we must model it. We can not say with our lips one thing and act in a different way. They will do what they see. Oh that my kids will see Christ. I have to understand that when I mess up I need to say I am sorry to my kids. To communicate that to be in the place God wants us means admitting our failures and allowing Him to work in us. I pray today that my kids will see Jesus for who He is...full of grace and new mercies every day. He is waiting with open arms for us. He holds us when we are broken, he puts us back together when we break and he loves us when we think we are unlovable. He is God, who created them for this time and place with a purpose to better his kingdom. They are his masterpieces.

I watched that movie tonight...life as we know it... but as i was walking the dog this evening I was thinking about my life...and the life I know, the life I knew and the new life I am hoping to enjoy. I can clearly see the life i am living right now, and i see the life I lived fairly clear as well. Its the life I am dreaming of I can't see clearly yet. I see parts of it, I imagine the other parts. I know where I have been, I see where I am and I am anticipating  where I am going. God has done amazing things, he has brought me from places I have no desire to return too. He has also lead to me here to places I could have never dreamed of going and now I find myself looking again at what is ahead and making sure that it lines up with the place God has called and is calling me too. You see when we start our journey with God we are never sure exactly where we will end up. The cutting board no longer haunts me, empty. Instead, it forced me to take a Sabbatical and re-evaluate  somethings. Redo my schedule ( which I am still working on) and look at what is important. These things are never easy but they are worth it. As I look inward and begin to peel away layers I see the grace that God has extended time after time. How he has never left me, and wants what is best for me and my family. I look fo