This week has been crazy and it is only Thursday. Sometimes I find that my head is spinning by this time of the week and all i want to do is take a big long nap! But life marches on and the tasks that come with it still need to be done. I was thinking about today about my topic for this weekend. I am speaking at Women's retreat and speaking on Esther for such a time as this. My own heart has been challenged as I have been preparing. I am humbled by the love of the King he has for me. I am humbled that he uses us for his purpose for this time and this place. As Keith Loy, pastor of Celebrate Church in North Dakota,  The local church is the hope of the world. are you spreading hope, God's love, grace and forgiveness? Or are you judging people and their motives. Its true people will hurt you, their actions, their words, and the lack there of. But we are called to extend grace and love. I am working through my own emotions and trying to tell myself that the more negative we feed ourselves the more negative we feel. It is a whole lot easier said than done. But I am working on it. God put me here for such a time as this. Knowing what my circumstances would be. He equipped me, called me and holds me! 

Had a wonderful evening with my family. We carved pumpkins. And wow I was so impressed! They all did a great job. Jenny and Eric came over as well and we made an evening of it. I love evenings like this. We just had fun. It took longer than we thought but it didn't matter. It was all about making the pumpkin our own. My kids all helped each other and enjoyed the evening. My heart overflows with joy this evening. God knew I needed confirmation with my kids. I pray that they remember this evening for years to come. I will be posting pictures soon!

Life is a classroom. You always have things to learn. Everyday that I am a live I get the chance to learn something. I can learn from my mistakes, I can learn a new thing, I can improve on a skill and on and on the list goes. We are in work in progress and completed work has no more use, so if you are breathing today you still have use. I am working on my lesson for this upcoming weekend retreat that the District puts on for Pastor's wives and women in ministry. We are talking about Esther. Oh how i love Esther. she shows us that we can have boldness, and confidence as we approach the King. Even though her very life could have been taken. Esther, was willing to do what was hard. I am afraid many days I am not willing to do what is hard. I don't exercise because it is hard.  I don't have some conversations because it is hard. I let things go undone because it is hard. But who said that life would be easy? Who told us that we could always have our way? Who told us that we not have demands, boundaries and regulations? Let me just say, that the things that are hard, the things were fighting for. Relationships are hard- so don't give up. Being part of a body of believers who are all in need of grace is hard- do don't drop out. Being a parent is hard- but stay focus on the goal. Being a pastor is hard- but God's calling will sustain you. Being part of something bigger than yourself is hard- but fulfilling. Life is a classroom, and we have to study, prepare and learn. We have to rely on the strength that only comes from God. We have nurture our relationship with the One who loves us most.  so that in the end we can hear " well done, my good and faithful servant"  

You don't know and I don't know when the final exam will come- so today we should be prepared to take the test! Be courageous! 

Facebook asks every time you log in- what's on your mind- except you can't always say what is on your mind. Writing is my outlet. It is what I do when the world caves in on me. It is what I do to see my feelings and emotions for what they are. It is what I do and sometimes...there are no words. When you  have no more to write. No more to say. That is tonight. When there are lots of things I could put here on my blog but they will be reserved for the private pages of my journal. Where my Abba Father, will read over my shoulder and hold me in his lap. 

I have lost count of the times I have stared at this screen and started this blog. And yet the right words didn't seem to fit, or I was pulled away to something else. Much is changing, while much is staying the same. That really doesn't make sense, I get that. But along with the leaves changing and fall colors setting in, many  changes are happening at the Colburns. 
 More on those later- the marriage retreat has come and gone again for this year. The family meeting I mentioned in my last blog has happened and action items have been put in place. Life marches forwards with the sound of our steps, our crawls, and our running. Each day brings a new day of opportunity to do the right things, to live holy, and to be the hands and feet of Christ. Each day is a reminder of the gift of life we have been given. 

Living in gratitude...