I thought this was a pretty straight forward answer. I was being called to be a Pastor. I would build relationships, help people on their journey with Christ. It would be great. I  had not allowed myself to think about what this looks like in other areas. Last night, I watched a baby die. I stood by the bed of a 6 mth old baby and watch him take his last breathe. To say I know that God was there and holding us up would be understating it. I felt the very presence of God surrounding me to keep me focused in those hours we spent there. In my own strength I could not have made it. Pastor Tom wants me to help with the funeral- I don't think I can. He assures me I can. But I just don't know how I can do it. I don't know how to get up and say what will need to be said ( ok i have to speak like 3 minutes, not a huge deal but in my head it feels like 3 hours) Again, in my heart I know that God will be there, and is already there. I also know that this is my ministry, God called me too. Ok not my ministry but God's. So- pray for this family in the days ahead as the grieve this precious little boy, and pray for me that God would surround me with his peace and that the words that come out of my mouth will be straight from the heart of God.

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