i am finding that I am praying for wisdom a lot these days. Wisdom on how to raise a growing family, wisdom on being a pastor, wisdom on how to handle our finances, wisdom on school. This has been a pretty stressful couple of months. My school load right now seems overbearing, and as I think about dropping this class and having a 5 week break, I wonder is that really the right thing. I ask for wisdom, I pray for wisdom- It seems like if i could just breathe...If I could just catch my breathe for one minute, think clearly then I would know what direction I should go. Creating those spaces where we just seek clarity for the next step. Been studying the books of Paul, we focused on Timothy and Titus in our last week of class, and I was struck with the huge responsibility it was  and is to be a leader. Paul was encouraging these 2 young leaders. Paul gave some standards for leadership in these books. I read them, then I reread them. As I read them over and over- God was speaking. Are there areas I need to improve- yes- it was convicting. So I have been praying that God would show which step to take first- because there are areas- not just area- which means we have a lot of work to do. God and I. The thing is, the work doesn't scare Him, It terrifies me. But he is prepared. Just waiting for me to be the willing participant. Then it comes the work- change- I have to make changes. I have to practice self-control and self discipline. I have to be willing to practice the spiritual disciplines that I need to, to be in the place God can work and speak... Seeking wisdom- seeking solitude. Everything I do I want to be pleasing and God honoring. Every conversation, every interaction is God shining through? Is that not how we are suppose to live. Wisdom of the how raise kids in a very broken culture. A culture that screams at them their worth is found in how they  look and  what success they obtain. A culture that shows them multiple images a day of sex, violence and other things that are not true or godly. These are my kids- their very souls- there is a battle raging for victory over them. What to I do to win this battle? This battle is fought on my knees. This battle requires wisdom as we say yes to this activity, no to this show or movie or game, yes to this relationship no to the other. Guarding our children from the arrows that will most definitely be thrown at them. Preparing them to stand on their own when they have to face the arrows by themselves. Giving them a firm foundation to stand on when the storms roll all around them. Wisdom- yes I am seeking a lot of wisdom right now. James 1:5 " If you need wisdom,ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.  He will  not rebuke you for asking.But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God Alone." See- we just have to ask. It sounds so easy. The second part says that will give it to us. I think it left out a part- when will he give it to us? Again, I say, I am seeking wisdom. I am praying every day- some days every hour or minute for wisdom, direction. Here is the thing I have learned though- sometimes I can find wisdom, by simply picking up the Word. Some of the things we seek wisdom for are outlined His love story to us. So today, I continue on my journey with God, seeking him, being willing to do the hard stuff and waiting on Him for the next step.