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One more chapter…

by | Jul 19, 2016 | Uncategorized

Thirty Two weeks… Twenty Two hours of labor… Colton Thomas made his appearance. 5 Pounds 3 ounces 17 inches long. I remember the long night awaiting his arrival. Praying that the steroids that they gave me would be enough to help his little lungs. Hours after he arrived, the doctors and nurses found themselves working with a baby that was dying. 6 times he coded, 6 times they shocked his little heart. Finally stabilize enough to transport to the Children’s Mercy Hospital. The Doctor following the ambulance because he was sure by the time they arrived the baby would be gone…

Days turned into weeks as little Colton lay lifeless on life support. The NICU has labeled little white boys as “wimpy white males” they have the lowest survival rate of any preemies. There were days we just didn’t know if he would ever wake up. I remember vividly one day standing over his bed with my hand beside his and crying out to God to heal my baby. Tears ran down my face and one by one they would hit his naked little back. He didn’t even flinch. In that moment I remember asking the Lord for his will to be done in Colton’s life. If  it  was his will that he live that he would… and if it wasn’t that he would hold me. I prayed life into him and ask God to grow him up into a Man of God that would change the world someday.

Colton a few days later decided he would wake up and fight. His little body begin to grow and heal. And within a couple of months he would join us as home.

Here we are 18 years later, preparing to send him away to college. I thought by the third one it got easier. That somehow your heart is prepared for the fact that your precious littles are grown and ready to fly, all the while you pray they remember their roots. 3 children in 3 years.  Colton is preparing to join his siblings at IWU next year… and I am preparing for a few more tears and a lot more praying.

Chapters are being written so fast it seems that we don’t always get time to enjoy the story. I can’t go back and hold him but I can hold on to the many memories I have. I can look forward to see what God will continue to do in his life. I believe that God did save Colton for a purpose. And today my prayer is that he finds it and walks boldly in it. To say I am going to miss him, is an understatement. His laugh, his sense of humor and his hugs.

In Deuteronomy it says The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” I know that the Lord himself has gone before Colton. He knew exactly how his little life would begin and he knows every step there after.  Colton I pray that you will be a Kingdom Builder and Culture Changer. Use your gift and talents for His Kingdom to bring Glory to God your father who saved you for such a time as this.

Writing final chapters…

by | Apr 30, 2015 | Uncategorized

For all those mom’s and dads that find themselves this time of year looking over the past 18 years and asking themselves “where did time go?” “how did my little boy/girl grow up so fast?”  This year is the second year in a row I find myself reviewing 18 years of one of my children’s life.  We are on the home stretch of writing the final chapter of Jordan’s childhood…high school is days away from being done. Middle school has long since been left and grade school seems like a lifetime ago.

I do not just simply ask the questions that I listed above but I also ask “if I did enough,” and “is he ready,” or “what did I forget” to name a few… The reality is this chapter is closing. Our family dynamics change again. We send another child away but not away from our hearts or our thoughts. It’s like you know the day is coming but then it gets here… and your heart is so proud that it wants to burst, but it is also so sad that you cry tears from a deep, deep place.  You drive away and you realize this is where faith comes into place.  Maybe that does not make sense to you…but it’s where you have to trust Jesus to hold them on a different level than what the last 18 years were like. Now it is them making decisions, wrestling with their faith and my Jesus. So that it will be their faith and their Jesus.  The safety net of your home and boundaries are now removed.  Their freedom is unleashed.

The thing about writing final chapters is this… God is the author and perfecter of our faith. As one more child leaves my nest I can rest in the fact that God is writing their story. It will be their story…filled with lots of good things, sprinkled with heartaches, and faith building experiences.  Proverbs 22: 6 (MSG) Point your kids in the right direction—when they’re old they won’t be lost.  That’s a promise…so I write it on my heart, and pray it over their lives and trust the One who is writing our story as an ongoing story of His story.

I will allow myself to slip down memory lane, remember the fist time I knew I was going to be their mommy. The first time I looked at their face and called them by name. I will remember first words, first smiles, first days of school and everything in between. I will count my blessings of each day spent with them. I will look forward to the future they are moving into. Their location may change but their lives are imprinted on my heart, I will continue to lift them to my Jesus as they make Jesus their own and seek Him for  their career path, their spouse, their place to worship and to serve.

As April gives way to May and graduation looms… I will celebrate the amazing young man I get to call son!